Treasure Yourself

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a (slightly) bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so may have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

Ex Libris

I love books and I always save everything I read. I have a collection of late 1800s and early 1900s book plates and really adore them. Recently I decided to retouch them and offer them here for you. I will have them available printed on peel and stick paper as soon as I finish putting the final touches on them. I am curious to know if anyone would prefer them printed on regular paper (not sticker paper) as well? I am still considering whether to list them both ways...

An Etsy Treasury

My antique paper parcel was recently featured in an etsy treasury! You can see it here.

Many thanks to Flowerleaf on etsy for including me.

Its Easy to be Unhappy

I saw this article recently and thought it was worth sharing...

People's tendency to look at the negative
By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I recently read one of your columns where you said it was easy to be unhappy. Do you think it's easier than being happy? With now many years of experience under your belt, why do you think people protect their bitterness, anger, weaknesses and past traumas to the end, no matter what they lose? I've watched some people lose almost everything and everyone in order to hang on to what a friend called "their triumphant unhappiness."

~Anonymous

REPLY:

I love that phrase, please thank your friend for it.

Yes, I do think it's easier day-to-day to be unhappy. Meaning, when we're faced with these little decisions about how to perceive something, it's always a little bit easier to blame than it is to celebrate. For example, how often is it "another bleeping meeting" vs. a chance to leave your desk, see some people, scam a doughnut?

And it's always a little bit easier to put that blame on someone/something else: "Guys are such jerks" is easier than "I missed obvious signs that he didn't like me," or "I expected him to read my mind and be my little puppet, when in fact I didn't pay any attention to what he might have wanted or the ways I might have dismissed his feelings."

That's why I think it's harder in the short run to choose celebration over blame -- you have to take responsibility for more of your own bad outcomes. "He's a great guy" becomes, when it doesn't work out: "He really is a great guy, he just doesn't love me," or "I took him for granted, and didn't treat him the way he deserved." It's so much easier to save face with "I thought he was a great guy, but he was just another loser."

In the long run, though, those little easy choices make life so much harder. When you're cumulatively pessimistic and/or fundamentally negative, you're actively choosing to accept a lower allotment of joy.

Even calling it "joy" is deceiving, because joy sounds easy. However, when it means being grateful even when something isn't going exactly as you had hoped -- and often when you're plainly receiving less than someone else -- then suddenly it isn't so easy.


When you feel wronged and angry and you're awaiting your apology or due or whatever, choosing joy means accepting that someone got the best of you and you'll never get your due. It means accepting that any joy in your future will have to be of your own making. Ego out, perspective in.

Optimism also demands that you greet new people and situations with an open mind, instead of just lumping them into some lazy category of Things You Already Know. When we prejudge, we close doors, deny opportunities, marinate ourselves in the past.

To have an open mind, though, we have to assign ourselves to the role of students in life, and to not knowing the outcome in advance. It's trading the secure (if false) sensation of being wise to everyone and everything, for the possibility of surprise, be it pleasant or un-.

Choosing optimism is choosing vulnerability and humility on an ongoing basis, and that's often in conflict with our nature.

Timbre Faux

New faux postage has arrived! You can find them HERE.

Latest Baubles...Cont'd

New necklaces are finally listed for sale... you can find them HERE

Latest Baubles

I spent the past couple of (very) snowy days sitting by the fire and assembling a handful of new necklaces comprised mostly of salvaged vintage pieces....everything from chandelier crystals to buttons to salt shakers! Here are some photos...let me know what you think!

I will have them listed for sale in the shoppe as well as in my etsy shoppe later this week.

A Future Reflection

No one ever forged their success on the anvil of complacency. The process of reflection is pretty common, especially in these early days of January each year~but what is far less than common is taking the time to take an active role in how the upcoming year will shape up. This process of self reflection helps maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been ...but the second half of the equation, the planning, will take us where we intend to go.

I suggest taking 30 minutes per week, perhaps on a quiet Sunday evening to ask yourself these twenty questions...every week...all year.

1. What did I learn in the last week? This should be an easy one. If you struggle for an answer, perhaps something needs to change. Regardless of how old you are or how smart you fancy yourself....you should be learning something new every week. It doesnt have to be something huge, just something new.

2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week? Taking time to revel in the satisfaction of your accomplishments each week not only allows us to see how far we have come, it also gives us the confidence and motivation to take on the upcoming week. You should only be in competition with one person- yourself...to be the best that you can be.

3. Which moment from the past week was my most memorable...and why? Recalling what we felt was important in a given moment reminds us what is most important to our most inner self. If it was memorable to you, perhaps it would be memorable to others and can be worked into your goals. Be sure to share with others what you found most memorable each week and take the time to hear what they found notable. Knowing yourself and whats important to you is something many of us sadly take forgranted.

4. What was easy for me in the past week? If its easy for you, quite simply- its a strength. Capitalize on your strengths and know what you are good at- use them to your advantage.

5. What were my biggest struggles in the past week? Take a few moments to determine what kept you from your progress this week. It may have been something completely out of your control. Other times, its procrastination in disguise. Putting the setbacks to reast each week will not only give yourself a break for realizing sometimes things dont go just as planned- but it also helps us plan for future setbacks.


6. What can I do now to reduce my stress in the upcoming week? Being organized and getting small tasks done in advance are huge time savers and generally reduce stress exponentially. Things such as packing lunches in advance, getting gas, having the laundry done will free up more time to get your goals accomplished. When your brain is filled with menial tasks that must be done it draws our attention from our goals. Get them done ahead of time and they will be off the table, leaving you more time to dedicate to the week's goals.

7. Where did I waste the most time last week? Simply put-figure out what things you spent too much unnecessary time on last week and strive to avoid making the same pitfalls in the coming week. Remember....Lost time is never found again.

8. Wash the slate clean of...? What excess baggage (physical or emotional) am I carrying that I can put down and not carry into the upcoming week with me. The lighter you travel, the easier the journey.

9. What have I been avoiding? We all have things we love to avoid (sometimes for weeks at a time). Set up some time to get these undesirables off your plate.

10. Who do I need to talk to? Make a concerted effort to maintain regular communication with those close to you. Make the same effort with new contacts-try to meet at least one new potential networking opportunity each week.

11. Who do I need to thank? Gratitude. Remember to thank people, often. Send a note to someone new every week....even if its a thank you email for someone leaving a kind comment on your blog. People will remember it.

12. Who can I help this week? Realizing there are other people in the world seems easy enough but sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own life we forget others may need a helping hand. Again, it doesnt need to be earth shattering...send along a helpful link, leave a sympathetic comment to someone expressing sadness... a little goes a long way.

13. What are my top three goals for the short term (next 1-3 years)? You won't make notable progressions in life if you don’t setup realistic (<---key word) short term goals for yourself. Your pride will come in realizing these goals. Weekly checks help you get there.

14. Have my recent actions moved me any closer to my goals? Decide which things you have done in the past week which were most efficient. if you cant think of how something moved you closer to your goal, perhaps its time to reassess your need for that activity.

15. What’s the next step for each goal? Goals work cumulatively, don't miss a step or the end result may not be what you had hoped for. As much as possible, be sure you are on track each week. If something has taken a back seat due to life circumstances....make a concerted effort to make it happen in the coming week.

16. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week? Herein lies your motivation. If you are unable to think of anything, schedule something to look forward to.

17. What am I afraid of? Consciously address your fears on a weekly basis and slowly work on resolving them. For some of us this is something as simple as the fear of success....sounds crazy but I have encountered more people than I care to admit who are actually fearful of their own success and tend to put a very short ceiling overhead. The sky can be the limit, trust yourself. Also, measure your success with your own ruler. Don't allow someone else's idea of success to cloud your pride of accomplishment.

18. If I knew I only had a week to live, how would I choose to spend my time and with whom? Life is very short, in fact- shorter every second. Be cognizant of the moments you have and how you spend them. We all have things we MUST do but try not to waste too much time on other's obligations. Try to spend more time with the people you care about- you never know when or if you will see them again.


19. Are the goals I am working on still in line with what I want? True wisdom is the byproduct of life experiences. Sometimes as we go along we realize that some of the goals we have set for ourselves are no longer in line with what we wish to accomplish for ourselves. Things change. As long as you dont find yourself just ditching your goals randomly, feel free to give yourself a pass to say that perhaps this is no longer for me and I need to rid it from my goals sheet in order to move forward with my other plans.

20. What am I most grateful for? Being grateful is something most of us take forgranted. Its all about the little things. It’s a smart way to keep things in perspective and something to bring to the forefront of your mind regularly.

Goals: They are a necessary evil, a way to measure ourselves against what we expect from ourselves. We expect much from others, yet sometimes neglect to expect much from ourselves. Don;t wake up and go through the motions every day. Live your life, don't merely exist in it. As this new year dawns, its a great time to take stock of where we are and where we will be at the beginning of next year. You'll notice I said where we WILL be and not where we HOPE TO be... You know what you want and where you want to be. Now you have to make it happen for yourself. Time is precious, manage yours effectively. You've got 52 Sundays....GO!

~Melissa

Stirring Up Trouble...Starting a Website!